It is human nature to want to take advantage of every single exciting opportunity that comes our way. To experience the most out of life. Well yeah, and that’s a good attitude to have…most of the time. The important thing to remember is that we are only human and that we actually have limits! Perhaps, within my frind group 6 out of 10 of those people have issues with sleep and resting. They’re up until the pikes of 2AM and never seem to shut off, they’re constantly busy and have this or that to do before they can rest and relax and are always out and about with people and doing things.
However for us anxiety stress heads enough feels up in the air as it is and as much as I like to convince myself I am Wonder Woman…sadly I am not – I don’t look half as good in Lycra!
“Come out for a drink I really need a glass of wine” is a sentence I dread to hear, and “We’re going to see this movie tonight, you should come” sparks instant anxiety in me. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that after a full day of fighting off my anxiety and getting on with life….I’m too exhausted for last minute plans!
While is was in schooling I worked hard, achived grades I was proud if worked my way through University to earn my degree. I learned how to push myself to get what I want, now, of course I am proud of myself and I guess it looks good on the CV however long term I’m suffering the side effects. I should have put my mental health first and learnt to set realistic goals for myself to achieve. I have always craved affirmation that what I am doing is the right thing, and that is a for-front in my anxiety. I never want to dissapoint! Which means I never say no, I make my week busy and I do things that in all honesty I don’t want to do.
I would love to say that I have completely gotten over this need to achieve and always be saying ‘yes’ instead of ‘no’ and take on everything and anything that comes my way, but of course I would be lying! How do I cope and hiw am I helping mtself get better at saying no? My diary has really helped me, I started to bullet journal and combined it with a traditional daily diary form of journaling. This helps me to remember all that I have already taken on so that I can see what I can realistically complete, while also serving as a way to note down my thoughts and memories of a particular day/event. I still suck at saying no to things, but now I’m getting a little better at managing my time so that everything that I want to do actually gets done….eventually.
Understand that the people who you say NO to are the ones who decide if they should be in your life or not, the decision is not yours to make. The good, suppostive people will always understand. They will stick around, and everyone in a while they will push you outside of your comfort zone. Which let’s face it, we all need to happen all times. Don’t fear loosing the people who leave after you tell them NO. They’re not going to make you feel safe when you need them to, they won’t be there for support when your anxiety sparks off in public. Trust what peoples action show you!
So take a break, say NO and don’t spread yourself too thin for the people who don’t understand and pressure you. Your not missing out, believe me!
Until my next post, see you all online! Charlotte x